My Challenge To You: A Response to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

**I would like to preface this post by saying that I have nothing against those who have participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge. In fact, it’s been quite humorous to see the different ways people have chosen to do their challenges. So, to all my friends out there who are pouring water on their heads, thank you for making me laugh. This is just my personal opinion.

Recently, my Facebook and Instagram have been full of videos for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Across the country, people are accepting this challenge and while I have no problem with people having fun and participating in an online social media challenge, I do have a couple of issues with how this challenge works. Essentially, a friend tags you on social media, and you are given 24 hours to dump a bucket of ice/ice water on your head or else you must donate $100 to the ALS Association.  Some have tweaked it a little bit and ask that you donate $5-$10 to the ALS association along with dumping the bucket of water on your head. It’s an extremely creative way to raise money; however, I believe that there are few things that should be addressed.

First, is it just me, or does this whole challenge seem to run off of peer pressure? Dr. Lyn Day, a psychologist with Tanglewood Counseling put it quite simply, “If you don’t do the challenge, if you don’t do the ice bucket dump, then somehow you’re not a good person. I don’t think that anybody intends to send that message but I think that’s the message we receive which is a bit unfortunate.” I think that most of us are secretly praying that we don’t get nominated simply because let’s be honest, who wants to be the guppy swimming against the flow?

Somehow, the thing all of our parents warned us about, peer pressure, is being welcomed with open arms across the internet. It’s being celebrated in the form of a challenge. Today, I was listening to 95.5 the Fish’s morning show, and the host said that he was going to do his challenge today, and he named the three people he was nominating. The co-host asked if he thought that they would do it and he responded, “They have to!” Then continued to talk about how there was no way around it. How is it that because someone challenged you to do something, that you have to do it? The fact is you don’t.

My second issue is that if you don’t do the challenge, you have to donate $100 dollars to the ALS association. I do believe and understand that ALS is highly underfunded in research. I also believe that it's a terrible disease. However, while I see the need for increased awareness and research for ALS,  I do not believe that it is right to be coerced into donating to any charity, association, or organization. As much as we don’t like the government telling us how we should handle our private affairs, I personally do not care to have my friends dictate to me how much and where I should give.

 I have no problem with giving, in fact, in Deuteronomy 16:17 we are told to give. It says, "Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD thy God which he hath given thee.” I believe we are called to bless others, and to do so as regularly as we are able. So this is my challenge to all of you, a challenge given by God in Deuteronomy:  Give. Give because God has blessed you. Give to fund research that will empower the minds that God has given us. Give to a charity that helps young women . Buy the coffee for the car behind you. Give where God has called you to give, and when He puts it on your heart to give. Don’t give because of peer pressure. Don’t give a defined amount of money because you were told you have to. If you feel called to give to the ALS Association, then by all means, donate! However,certainly don’t give to a foundation if you do not feel it on your heart to give there.
Let God guide you. 
Let Him make the difference where He sees fit. 

Here's To Hoping These Feelings Never Go Away

"Let us spend our lives chasing the tiny moments of grace 

that hide in borrowed breaths, 

stolen glances, 

and the last instant before smiling lips come to rest"

 -Tyler Knott Gregson-

This past summer has gone by far to fast, however, in May as I was designing my photography website (which you can view here), I came across this quotation from Tyler Knott Gregson. It stuck with me, and honestly, I feel that's the reason why I haven't posted over the summer... I've just been taking it all in without caring to share it with the world. 

This summer, for me anyways, has been all about living in the moment, and simply embracing the all of the emotions because these are the things that will make up the fingerprint of my life. It is all a part of the glorious adventure. 

Every single second of it. 

As I've become more conscious about opening my eyes to the little things, it has become clear: 

I am abundantly blessed & God has given me a wonderful husband. 

All summer, I've found myself realizing just how much I love the little things in our everyday life.  Like the fact that I get butterflies & excited to see Austin after a long day of work. Or if I get home and he's not home yet, that I get disappointed and miss him.  I love our evening chats across the dining room table, and I love that even after we're married we can still talk for hours. I enjoy listening about his woodworking and always waiting for the "Does that make sense?" A phrase that I can always count on coming out of my husband's lips. Another favorite highlight are the tickle fights in the middle of the night, even though they make my ribs ache from laughing (I'm fairly certain Austin's ribs hurt from my "violent reaction" to his tickles.) And finally, my very very favorite part of our everyday life is bed time. While it's often myself, Austin, and some sort of woodworking youtube videos,  along with our iPhones, it somehow completes my day and I go to bed thinking that all is well in the world. 

All of these little things have helped my realize that I really have married my best friend. He's a guy named Austin Papp, and I think he's flawed in all the right ways. 

I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen when I got married, however, my expectations (which were high) have been exceeded by far. Just the other day I told my best girl friends that I love being married.

 It's true, I do. 

I love him with every part of my heart, & I cannot imagine my life without him.

I do not know if these feelings last forever, but I'm going to do my best to make sure they do. They keep me excited about life, and I suppose, in turn, that means Austin keeps me excited about life. 

So here's to hoping these feelings never go away. 

That they'll only get better with age.

That my searching hand will always find his. 

That our eyes will never fail to meet. 

That my heart will always be his & his mine. 
That we will forever remember where it all began. 
That on the day Christ calls us home we will smile because we lived. 
We lived happily with one another. 
Loved one another. 
Cared for one another. 
And laughed with one another. 
Let these feelings stay a lifetime. 

The Vow Series: Part 1

I originally had planned to save this post until our one year anniversary, however, the fact is that the vows I wrote are 

an everyday challenge. 

They are words that are tried and tested day after day, and more so than one would expect. And so, while I'm sure I would have more stories and life application after a year,  I think now is an appropriate time because recently I've been examining the promises which I have made, and trying to hold myself accountable to those promises. 

In the process of preparing for our wedding day, Austin and I opted to write our own vows. It wasn't that anything was wrong with traditional vows, they just didn't say everything that I wanted to say. So, I sat down, and began to list off the things that I wanted live by in my marriage (Can I just say that it is an incredibly daunting task?).  However, I narrowed it down to a few different areas that I wanted to address specifically.

Each of the areas I chose to address were there for a reason. 

Situations, 

circumstances, 

and things I had seen, 

had an incredible influence on my vows.

 I'm a people watcher and for years I have taken mental notes on the little things that made a difference in marriages.

 Some, I wanted to replicate in my own life. 

Others, I wanted to prevent. 

My vows were a product of the life I had lived and the life I wanted to have. 

My vows started out like any usual vows you would hear..

"I, Rachel E. Adkins take you, Austin V. Papp, to be my husband."

To be honest, I went back and forth on this first line. It wasn't original, it didn't seem valuable, and in my head it was terribly cliche. I originally had gotten rid of it altogether because I felt it was unnecessary and lengthened my vows. 

However, the more I thought about it, the more I saw it not only necessary but

  incredibly moving. 

When you take someone in marriage, you are saying that you take 

ALL 

of them. 

The good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Their talents, dreams, and goals. 

Their flaws,  imperfections, and their failures. 

Their Strengths and weaknesses. 

But not only that, you are committing yourself to that person. To be their wife. To be their husband. To be more than just another person living with them, and to be their life partner. Choosing them over the anyone else in this world, and committing your life to them. 

What an incredible love & dedication. 

The next sentence was something that I felt should be first and foremost, for our family was and is to be built on God, trusting Him, and loving like He has loved us. 

"Before God and our families, I vow to uphold you in prayer, to pray with you daily, and to love you unconditionally as Christ has loved me."

Prayer. 

All of my life, I have heard the saying "A family that prays together stays together." And I believe it with all of my heart. Coming before Christ and surrendering your heart, desires, and daily life as a family can be so powerful. It may not always fix the problems, but I believe there will always be a peace about the issues at hand. 

 It's probably one of the simplest things a husband and wife can do together, but somehow it's one that seems so incredibly tough to follow through with. I'll be honest, I really struggle to find the time to pray together with Austin. It's easy for me to pray by myself, it's daily, and it's part of my routine. 

However, that prayer together is more important than what I think most of us realize.

I have been blessed to see some incredible love between couples over the years. But the one that continues to amaze me daily is 

the unconditional love of my Savior, Jesus Christ. 

His love is never failing, and He continues to love me even though I fail Him daily.

His love is inspiring and I knew that

 because He loves me,

 I, too, can love. 

And so, I am called to love Austin unconditionally, and I included that in my vows because 

we will both fail each other. 

We will disappoint one another. 

We will argue with one another.

We will sin against one another. 

All of these things will happen because we are sinful beings.

 Humans. 

Imperfect. 

But, no matter what, I will have the forgiveness to forgive because Christ has forgiven me. 

And so, my love will be relentless,

 never giving up, 

because I will love Austin with an unconditional love as Christ has loved me. 

"I promise to respect you as a man, as my husband, and as the leader of our home."

So often I see wives, young and old, taking the lead in a marriage. While I believe that most wives like this have good intentions, this type of family structure is not how God intended it. (See Ephesians 5:23, 1 Corinthians 11:3, etc.) But the Bible states clearly in Ephesians 5:33 that it is the wife's job to respect her husband. 

And for myself, I believe that respecting my husband includes respecting him and the fact that he has the final say. 

I used to believe that if a husband wasn't doing his job in leading that it was okay for the mother to step in and lead, however, this thinking was demolished by a statement that I heard about two years ago. While I cannot remember the exact statement, I am positive it was something Eric or Leslie Ludy had said. It was something along the lines of,

 "A man who isn't even trying to lead is still better than a woman who gives 110%."

And they went on to explain that the reason for that is because women are not supposed to lead, they are designed for a different purpose. 

Men are to lead, women are to follow. 

It's simply how God made us. Personally, since I so very badly want to prevent overstepping the boundaries as a wife, I felt it was necessary to verbally state and promise that I was going to respect Austin.

 Respect him as my husband. 

Respect his position, 

and respect his decisions.

End.

The Vow Series: Part 1. 

For Now,

Rachel Papp

A Season of Change

Change. 

If there is one thing that I have never appreciated, at least at first, it's change. I can recall several moments in my life in which I bawled my eyes out because my life would be altered: When I was nine and my siblings I were told we were moving from my hometown. When I was 10 and I curled up in a ball nearly devastated at the realization that my siblings and I would one day graduate, and we would all move away and get busy with that thing called life ('mind you, this was still a few years before any of my siblings were even close to graduating). When I watched Toy story 3, and it ended. The night before Austin and I wed, and I snuggled up with my mom one last time.

So, as you can see by, I really struggle with change. 

And I guess I know why: I loved my Childhood, and it went by far too quickly.

The best years of my life were spent in Bolivar, Ohio playing on the swing set, running around barefoot, and dressing up in my Sunday best. The summer days were long, and every night would conclude with piling onto my parents' bed, laughing and talking about the day & end in prayer. 

The BEST.  

But of course, life never stops changing. And those good old days are only memories. 

And it was little, tiny changes that happened in my life to bring me to where I am today. 

 However, I'm learning that not all change is bad, and that while I still don't like it, there is a better word for it: 

Bittersweet. 

It's terribly sad to have the present fade to memories, and realize that life comes at you fast.

But it's so sweet to see where you end up. 

Recently, there have been some pretty important changes in The Married Papp life: 

The first was sad. 

Due to a variety of reasons, Austin's guitar company, had been dissolved. I was very sad to see this happen, but ultimately, it was the best choice. 

The next was random, unexpected, and absolutely a God thing.

Austin called me one day, and asked me, 

"What would you say if I told you I just accepted a full time job?" 

 He wasn't looking for a job, he didn't have an interview, and altogether it was something that just happened. So now, my husband makes cabinets. I'm VERY proud of him.

And the last:

My grandpa was diagnosed with Lieukemia. 

This is one change that I'm not quite sure how wrap my brain around. 

A change in my life for which I am not ready. 

As the season changes from winter to spring, I realized that I am in a season of change myself. These are all things that will affect my life, that will affect my husband, & that will affect my family. 

Changes that aren't easy. 

But in the end, in their own ways, they will be bittersweet. 

And ultimately, it's okay.
And it is simply because God has it all in His hands.
He is the author, the artist, and the only one in control of my life, and He has a plan.
A plan for my life.
He knows every change that will happen in my life, and He knows the outcome.
I can stress less, and fret not, because He knows what He is doing.
I may not understand the big picture, and it might cause some growing pains, but He still has it all.
And so, because of this,
change is okay. 

For now,
Rachel Papp

I Will Never Need Mr. Darcy Confessions of Love

A little less than a year ago (339 days to be precise), I gave Austin his birthday gift: a leather journal. It was a small token of my appreciation of our friendship, and I knew he had been wanting a new book for notes, so I took the liberty of getting one for him. Inside, on each page, I had written references for some of my favorite verses. 

On my 18th birthday he gave me a birthday gift: 

the journal I had given him. 

However, it was altered. Inside, he wrote out the verse that I had referenced, and wrote letters & notes to me. Let's just say it was one of the most precious birthday gifts I had ever received. Being the girl I am, I stayed up into the wee hours of the night taking in every note till the very last was read. 

While I don't read it every night, and it usually just sits on my dresser, it's always there as a reminder that my husband loves me. 

And that he has loved me for quite some time, and that he had loved me before I even dared wish he would love me. 

I guess sometimes I need that reminder. I get so busy with the hustle and bustle of life, that I forget.  I forget the small acts of kindness. I forget the quick glances & looks that scream 'I love you!' I forget the small squeeze of the hand that says 'I care about you'. And I think that the vast majority of us just forget.

 I keep finding that when we forget the everyday love, and just look for the big and extravagant, hollywood love, the Mr. Darcy confessions, the grand romantic gestures, we become discontent. 

And so, when I can feel myself falling into the sea of discontentment,

I read.

I read the journal full of love letters given to me by my love, Austin.

There is a very specific entry that always stands out to me. 

It reads:

"When the storms come, and they will, know that I will be there to weather them with you. I love you, Rachel, and I pray that I will daily be able to show that to you. God has a plan. Live it with me?"

And you know what?

  I will never need Mr. Darcy Confessions of love,

I just need Austin.

In little ways, in his own ways, he expresses his love for me daily. Whether it be starting the water for my shower, taking out the trash, letting me cuddle up, or making the bed,
it's an act of love.

This is the kind of love that will last, this is the kind of love that will weather the storms, and it is this kind of love that will not wear out.
It's the daily life love.

I think that once we get over the hollywood love, we can fully love & recognize the love in our life! The simple love & the everyday love. It's all quite beautiful.
And then, we learn what love is all about.

"Today God revealed something to me in very explicit detail. That being my duty, calling, and responsibility in loving you. That is, to protect you, your heart, your passion, and your innocence, and to serve you, your needs, your dreams, and your calling."
-Austin

The fact that Austin took time to define what loving me entailed, in a letter to me that I would not read for several months, means the world to me. But not only did he define it, he sought after what God's definition of loving me would be.

And you know what? Austin has stayed true to his vow:  he has loved me as Christ loved the church, and how God would have him love me.
In a simple, sacrificing love.

He's a heck of a guy,
and I'm so very blessed to call him mine.

Happy 5 Months.

For now,
Rachel Papp

The Sugar, Sticky, Sweet Stuff That Ultimately Gives You A Cavity: Pursuing an Authentic Love

"During the time I had spent pursuing my Lord, 
was a time that He was cultivating my heart and preparing it to love Austin. 

Not in an ushy-gushy way, but in the way that Christ loves me. 

Authentically."

A few weeks ago, Austin and I were talking about something from right before we had gotten married, and he said, "You know, I'm really glad we're over that sappy stuff." After seeing my confused, and slightly hurt facial expression, he said, "Now it's all real love." This statement got me thinking. I'm very glad that we are over the "sappy stuff", and that we are now able to experience an authentic love. 

It was the "sappy stuff" that once got me into a very hard place. 

So, I want to share a little about the things I learned, and the truths that I now know.
If there was one thing I wish I had known, is that until you surrender your greatest insecurities to God, you will be constantly battling them, and looking for ways to compensate for them. 

Looking for ways to "fill the void". 

It wasn't that I didn't know that I was supposed to give things up to Jesus, it's just a lot harder said than done. It wasn't until I realized what a mess I was did I fully understand what that statement meant. 

In my pursuit to compensate for the areas in which I felt inadequate, I ended up falling victim to the seduction of the sugar, sticky, sweet stuff. It was with these empty words and actions that I vigorously tried to fill my void, but to no avail ( surprise, surprise.) 

You see, I got so tangled up trying to make myself feel better, that I was willing to believe anything. The further I went down this road, the further away I was from the God who's love for me was overflowing. This broke my heart, but the situation seemed hopeless. 

I was no longer impressed by the fluff, that at first appeared good but now seemed to have given me a cavity.

 A cavity within the heart. 

A hole, a void, a true longing to be filled had developed in my heart. And I knew needed to happen. I needed a good cleaning, a washing of my sin, and a surrendering of myself to Christ. I needed to be filled with the only One who could satisfy. The One who said I was beautiful, and I knew that I could believe it. The One who could look past all my shortcomings and failures and still call me His child. 

Last Spring & Summer was a transformation of my life. One that opened my eyes to the Love that satisfies. 
It was an authentic love. 

At the very beginning of this process, Austin and I had started to talk. However, I needed to invest the time into my relationship with my 

One True Love,

 Jesus Christ. 

It was a long, eye opening season of my life, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Occasionally, I would receive encouraging emails from Austin, but not once did he interfere with my ever so necessary time in growing my relationship with Christ. 

You know that cliche saying, "Dance with God and He will let the perfect man cut in."? It's true. At just the right time, God allowed Austin to come into my life and sweep me off my feet. This time, my heart was protected and guided by my Heavenly Father. I knew that unless I wanted to end up exactly where I had started, I would have to trust His will over mine. God orchestrated something so much more beautiful than anything I could have dreamed or hoped for. During the time I had spent pursuing my Lord, was a time that He was cultivating my heart and preparing it to love Austin. 

Not in an ushy-gushy way, but in the way that Christ loves me. 

Authentically.

What I learned from my experience is that when we take the reigns, and incessantly wander in a search for something to fill our heart, we usually end up in a downward spiral headed towards catastrophe. But if we let the free and incessant love of God cover us and fill us, we are protected from so much unnecessary hurt. 

In my case, all I wanted was to know that I was valuable. That I had worth. Instead of seeing what was right before my eyes, and after a hopeless search, all I ended up with was an empty, torn, and used heart. 

But the truth is this:

I am more precious to God than I could ever be to anyone on this earth.

Period.

I no longer carry the burdens that held my heart captive. If it hadn't been for Christ coming in to save the day, I would not have been able to authentically love Austin, because I still would be trying to fill that void in my heart. No matter how hard I would have tried, I never would have been satisfied. I still would still be filling my heart with whatever new sickening sweet stuff the world came up with. 

But, I am filled.

Filled with Him. 

And because of this, I can love my husband with a "real" love.

I wish I could say that I was the only one who had the unfortunate journey down the road of emptiness, however, I am not. All over the world there are men, women, teens, and children searching for something or someone to fill the voids in their hearts. 

It is my wish that those who are traveling the road of emptiness will come to a crossroad of where emptiness collides with God's true love. And that they would choose to allow God's love to pour over them, and allow Him to direct their paths. 
That they will not fall for the sugar, sticky, sweet stuff that the world feeds us, and that they will be satisfied in & through Christ. 

There is a true & authentic love out there, 

it's called Jesus. 

Pursue Him.

For now,
Rachel Papp

4 Months

This past weekend marked the fourth month that Austin and I have been married. While I cannot pretend that I know everything about relationships or that I know an inkling of the challenges the married life consists of, I can tell of my experiences thus far.     

Marriage has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. The joys of marriage have been overwhelming, and adjusting to a new life has been good. I will not say that it is easy, because it certainly isn't. It brings together two different people, two unique personalities, two fluctuating schedules, two sets of emotions, two upbringings, two diverse opinions, and two collections of habits. It would be foolish to think that everything would be peaches & cream all of the time. However, because we have had to overcome these complexities, it has strengthened our relationship. All of the differences between us have created opportunities to problem solve, compromise, and to learn to love the other another layer deeper.      

Something that I've learned about marriage is that it exposes the areas that you need to work on. Areas to grow & mature, and maybe an area where you need to learn to admit that you're wrong. It's not that your spouse is exposing your weaknesses, they're just trying to help you become a better version of yourself. To bring out the best in you, I suppose. Austin has been so great at addressing issues that I tend to want to shove into the corner, and while I may not like it at the time, I believe that it is this openness that will help build a strong foundation for our family.     

 Marriage is also teaching me about selfless love. A love like Jesus'. All that I can say is that one really never sees how selfish they are until they have to make joint decisions on practical things like money to unimportant things like what comforter should go onto the bed. We all have a tendency to make a decision based off of what would make ourselves more comfortable, not taking any consideration of anyone else. However, this mindset doesn't work in a marriage. It's all about serving the other with a cheerful heart. It's not easy, but we are to love our spouses in the the way that Christ loves the church, and that is with a selfless, sacrificing love. God's still helping me overcome my personal selfishness.      

While this is just an idea of the challenges of marriage, the joys outweigh the challenges. Growing together, learning about the other, and experiencing life together has been wonderful. I cannot wait to see what all God has in store for us.

 For now,
Rachel Papp