The Nail That Seals it Shut

Today our childhood dog was put down. I’m not usually one to get sentimental over pets…I’ve seen them come and go, and while it might sting a little, life moves on. And life will continue today as it always has, however, I cannot help but feel saddened.

Benji was never my dog. He was my brother’s. Jacob asked for a puppy many, many Christmases ago. I can still remember the gift my parents gave him. He didn’t get a puppy, he received a box with a dog bowl, a collar, a leash, and a few other puppy items. The promise was that when spring came we would go get a puppy.

The very first day of spring my brother ran to my mom and told her it was time to go get our puppy. Keeping true to their word, my parents loaded us all up into the van and drove to the humane society. We passed rows and rows of dogs and somehow came upon Benji. I’m not sure who found him, but everyone agreed that this dog, the black haired, smiling, whiskered dog, was the one for us.

That dog wasn’t the prettiest of dogs, he wasn’t always the best groomed dog, he most certainly was not the best smelling of dogs, but he was a happy dog. Our dog. He was another member of our family that grew up with us, played with us, protected us, and comforted us when we needed a friend.

 He was the dog that didn’t want to die. He was shot, hit by a car (twice!), had heart problems, and could barely walk, but he simply wagged his tail and kept on keeping on, hobbling from one room to the next simply to be with you. He was a loyal companion to nearly anyone who would pet him.

While he was just a dog, I think that what really stings the most about having to put him down is the fact that he was a part of our past. A reminder of times gone by. Somehow, his death really seems to hammer the final nail into my childhood. The nail that seals it shut.The finale that wasn’t so grand. A sad ending that was inevitable but something nobody liked to talk about. I know he was only a dog, but I feel that his significance in our family was a little more than the average animal..he was a constant in our lives when everything else didn’t make sense. And I feel like his death has even more significance as it is almost symbolic of putting away our childhood, our old life, and moving forward into the next adventure. It's almost as if the old book has closed, and the new has begun. And I'm not quite sure I'm done pondering the old. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for it all to be different. I hate the feeling of knowing that the current moments I'm living are fleeting, and soon they will only be a memory. And more quickly than we'd like, those memories fade, and the details aren't as clear anymore. The memory isn't quite complete. 

It feels like our family is morphing into something new. Changing. And it is. And I know that all things must change, but I guess during times like this, when one is undergoing major life changes, one likes to hold onto whatever is left, and I guess for me that was Benji: A simple reminder of our family, our past, and our history. 

5 Tips for Working Full Time While Pregnant

I’m sure if you’re searching this subject you've already hit the “I can’t make it until the end of my shift!!!!!” phase. Working full time while pregnant, especially during the third trimester, can take a lot of effort. I have an office job, so I sit for most of the day. Sitting all day can pose a series of problems that make working a nuisance. While pregnancy pains & the feeling that I am going to break my back every time I stand are annoying, it is the overwhelming tiredness that really is the hardest to defend against! If you’re in the same boat as I am, here are my 5 tips to working Full Time while pregnant:

1. Get More Sleep!

I know, I know…seems a little obvious, eh? But in all seriousness, sleep makes such a difference. I used to be a late night person who could (and would) stay up late no matter what day it was. However, that really changed during pregnancy. Making a baby is hard work, and my body is physically tired. So, what I’ve learned is that my sleep is much more valuable than any television show that my husband and I might be watching. Netflix & Hulu can wait. My sleep & sanity cannot!

If you’re working full time, taking a midday nap may not be an option. A lot of articles you’ll read will tell you to take a nap on your lunch break. However, this may not work well for you. Or if you’re like me, a “power nap” just makes you even more tired for the remainder of the day. So, night time sleep is precious & valuable.

Once I hit my third trimester, it was pretty clear that more sleep was needed in order for me to get up and get going the following day. At 33.5 weeks pregnant a lot of days I’ll be in bed by 8:30 P.M., I fall asleep somewhere around 9:00 P.M., and I’ll sleep for about 10 hours total. That 10 hours may not be completely uninterrupted (due to being uncomfortable & frequent trips to the bathroom), but it does get you more rest than the alternative. While getting more sleep doesn’t totally put drowsiness out of the picture, the little bit of extra sleep has proven to be effective in just making it through the day.

2. Wear more comfortable clothing!

Alright, I know what it feels like to want to be able to fit into your old clothing. It may be one of the greatest achievements as you progress into your pregnancy... You get the bragging rights that you’re still in your pre-pregnancy clothes. And sometimes your old clothing can make due for a while! However, let’s be honest: Squeezing yourself into your old jeans or work clothes and then staying in them for 8+ hours is basically self-inflicted torture.

During the last few weeks of wearing my old jeans to work, the first thing I would do when I got home was change into sweatpants. When I finally purchased a pair of maternity jeans, sitting all day was finally bearable…I think this was mostly due to the fact that I no longer had a tight waistband pressing against my belly. I found that by being more comfortable at work, I was able to concentrate better on the task at hand rather than constantly being annoyed by clothing that didn't fit properly.

Side note: If you’re thinking that comfortable clothing = no style, it’s not true! You can certainly put together some super cute outfits by just purchasing some maternity basics. Find items that you can dress up or dress down. Accessories will be your friend, so stock up on some scarves, necklaces, and headbands.

3. Get up and take a walk

I work in the office of a large retail store, so whenever I can feel myself getting a little distracted or tired, I take a walk. While walking does take a bit of an effort, it does help get blood moving and has really helped me refocus when I sit back down at my desk.

I often save paperwork that needs distributed down on the floor or put in the mailboxes so that I can hand them out around 1-2 in the afternoon. I even find that the short walk to the bathroom (every pregnant woman has become familiar with those trips!) helps get me going again.

4. Make a To Do list

Prior to pregnancy, I knew the tasks that needed done and I knew I had a month to get them done. However, after becoming pregnant remembering all the tasks that needed done became a real challenge. Pregnancy brain is a real thing! You’ll find yourself putting milk in the cupboard, apples with the plates, and uncooked pasta in the refrigerator. Why make things hard on yourself when you can simply make a to do list?

By making a to do list each morning when I come in, I know what needs done, and I can work towards meeting my goal. Prioritizing those tasks is also key. I put some easier work in the early morning, then the harder work, and finally some easy, no-brainer work at the end of the day. By working with an easy-hard-easy set up, I end up accomplishing quite a bit of work without stressing about it. The best part about this strategy is that by having the harder work in the middle of the day, I have my brain fully awake and ready to tackle it. I often get tired in the evening, so that’s why I save the easiest jobs for last.

5. Take it easy at Home

One of the biggest sources of stress for me when I first got pregnant was the idea that I had to maintain my work responsibilities and my home responsibilities. It was a pressure that I put on myself and I often felt awful because I constantly fell short of my self set expectations.

After working a long day at work, it’s okay to go home and rest up on the couch for a bit. Like I said earlier, making a baby is hard work! It’s okay to not cook if you’re not feeling up to it. And when you do cook, nobody expects a 3 course meal. So, don’t feel like you have to outdo yourself. Maintaining a house is a full-time job, and it’s unrealistic to hold yourself to your pre-pregnancy abilities to just make it work.

What I’m finding really works for me is to do little tasks throughout the week. Tasks that are necessities such as dishes, laundry, and grocery shopping. I don’t work on Saturdays, so I try to keep my Saturday morning free so I can put some music on and do more thorough cleaning on the rest of the house. If you clean up after yourself throughout the week, the Saturday cleaning shouldn't take that long and then you can spend the rest of the weekend enjoying your clean home and resting up!

If none of that works: cheer up, print an inspirational quote, and eat a donut.

I hope you've found these tips helpful! I hope to add more posts like this as time goes on.

Ten.

We currently have one empty room waiting to be decorated. To be honest, I know how I want to decorate it, and I even have a few things to put in it, however, the whole task seems a little daunting. I do think that we’ll see some progress on it in the next few weeks, though! 

My routine doctor visits are now scheduled every two weeks. While I find those doctor visits a little repetitive and slightly annoying because I have to miss some work, I always enjoy hearing my child’s heartbeat. It is usually a steady & healthy 140 bpm.

Meet Raustin! He was our kitten for 2 weeks before we had to give him away due to his kitty smell.

I am in the home stretch, also referred to trimester number three. During my first trimester, I had the lovely opportunity to experience my sense of smell on a whole new level. Smells often made me nauseated. New rugs, cats/kittens, and the Indian food the seamstress downstairs made were probably my worst enemies for a while.  My second trimester was pretty uneventful… I actually got much of my energy back, and was just waiting around for our child to start kicking. It made its presence known around week 22. Finally, in my third trimester, I've been rather exhausted. However, our child has proven that it can be quite the active little person when it wants to be.

I have had a total of four different people touch my stomach, and all of them made me feel very awkward. I’m not sure what the consensus is about people touching your stomach, but I feel very odd when people try to touch mine, but even more awkward when they succeed. I mean, usually the child isn't even moving, so people are essentially touching just your regular stomach. How would you feel if someone came up to you and put their hand on your stomach? I tell you, it’s just little weird. Or maybe most pregnant people love it, and I’m just weird because I have a bubble that is not to be invaded. 

Working five days a week is proving to be difficult. Tiredness has no boundaries, and this has become clearer every day when I go to work. Sitting at a desk five days a week just isn't as easy as it used to be. 

Sporting one of my favorite new shirts at a wedding I photographed a few weeks ago!

I have purchased a total of six maternity clothing items. 3 shirts, two tanks, and one pair of jeans. Up until a few weeks ago, I was making my old jeans fit. And by fit I mean that I did the pants dance every morning, and immediately took those babies off in exchange for some sweatpants when I got home.  (One can only handle a button pressing into their bladder for so long!) The jeans are phenomenal. They are definitely my favorite purchase. And what really blew me away is that you just buy your normal size and they magically fit your pregnant body!

I feel bad for Austin because I’m sure he hasn't gotten seven nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep in quite a long time. Unfortunately, the frequent trips to the bathroom, tossing & turning, leg cramps, and the several pillows I sleep with aren't compatible for co-sleeping. 

I’m supposed to be drinking eight cups of water (64 fl. Oz) every day. For someone who just doesn't get thirsty, the struggle is real. Very real. I constantly have to remind myself that I need to drink water, and then some. 

Nine times out of ten I’m craving ice cream. Any good flavor will do. My friendship with ice cream (or really any dairy) is bittersweet. I love the way it tastes, but it most often makes my stomach hurt. However, the want for ice cream has been great during this pregnancy, and thus my willpower to say no has not been overcome. Austin is always teasing because he says I never wanted ice cream this frequently before. I would have to agree.

We're going to be great parents. Obviously. 

Finally, as of Wednesday, we only have Ten weeks until we meet our first child.  Ten weeks left of just the two of us. Ten weeks to prepare a room to welcome it home to. Ten weeks to think about the fact that this child will eventually want to come out, and it’s going to need my help to do it (dun-dun-dunnn...) Ten weeks to prepare ourselves to be parents. Ten weeks to prepare ourselves to have our lives changed forever.