A Season of Change

Change. 

If there is one thing that I have never appreciated, at least at first, it's change. I can recall several moments in my life in which I bawled my eyes out because my life would be altered: When I was nine and my siblings I were told we were moving from my hometown. When I was 10 and I curled up in a ball nearly devastated at the realization that my siblings and I would one day graduate, and we would all move away and get busy with that thing called life ('mind you, this was still a few years before any of my siblings were even close to graduating). When I watched Toy story 3, and it ended. The night before Austin and I wed, and I snuggled up with my mom one last time.

So, as you can see by, I really struggle with change. 

And I guess I know why: I loved my Childhood, and it went by far too quickly.

The best years of my life were spent in Bolivar, Ohio playing on the swing set, running around barefoot, and dressing up in my Sunday best. The summer days were long, and every night would conclude with piling onto my parents' bed, laughing and talking about the day & end in prayer. 

The BEST.  

But of course, life never stops changing. And those good old days are only memories. 

And it was little, tiny changes that happened in my life to bring me to where I am today. 

 However, I'm learning that not all change is bad, and that while I still don't like it, there is a better word for it: 

Bittersweet. 

It's terribly sad to have the present fade to memories, and realize that life comes at you fast.

But it's so sweet to see where you end up. 

Recently, there have been some pretty important changes in The Married Papp life: 

The first was sad. 

Due to a variety of reasons, Austin's guitar company, had been dissolved. I was very sad to see this happen, but ultimately, it was the best choice. 

The next was random, unexpected, and absolutely a God thing.

Austin called me one day, and asked me, 

"What would you say if I told you I just accepted a full time job?" 

 He wasn't looking for a job, he didn't have an interview, and altogether it was something that just happened. So now, my husband makes cabinets. I'm VERY proud of him.

And the last:

My grandpa was diagnosed with Lieukemia. 

This is one change that I'm not quite sure how wrap my brain around. 

A change in my life for which I am not ready. 

As the season changes from winter to spring, I realized that I am in a season of change myself. These are all things that will affect my life, that will affect my husband, & that will affect my family. 

Changes that aren't easy. 

But in the end, in their own ways, they will be bittersweet. 

And ultimately, it's okay.
And it is simply because God has it all in His hands.
He is the author, the artist, and the only one in control of my life, and He has a plan.
A plan for my life.
He knows every change that will happen in my life, and He knows the outcome.
I can stress less, and fret not, because He knows what He is doing.
I may not understand the big picture, and it might cause some growing pains, but He still has it all.
And so, because of this,
change is okay. 

For now,
Rachel Papp